Well, I have to admit, it does feel different. The universe has made it clear that I will be looking at my life differently in my 5th decade (figure that one out and you get a brownie point). I took a hard fall in Jujitsu on the Tuesday before my birthday (April 28th to be exact). At the time I wasn’t sure how bad an injury it was but thankfully it was not as bad as it could have been. This is thanks to my other workouts and the agreement between martial artists at my school to try very hard NOT to hurt your training partner. However, it has been making me think about my body in different ways than I have before. Or to be more precise, making me more conscious of thoughts that have been there for a while.
For example, why do I do Jujitsu with guys who are 10 years younger and a hundred pounds heavier than I am? Why do I train as hard as I do with my personal trainer, lifting heavy weights and doing extremely challenging exercises on a regular basis? Why do I push myself so hard and try NOT to appear weak? I do it because the “scared to death he’s gonna get beat up” teenager inside me says, “Don’t let them think your a wimp.” Isn’t personal insight great! Of course, my adult brain can see that now and realizes that letting me ego tell my body what to do is responsible for why I got hurt in the first place. However, If that wasn’t challenging enough, now I find myself being TOO passive and nice and honestly, jujitsu ISN’T about being TOO nice to your opponent. I, like so many of us, have to go from one extreme to the other before finding the middle ground. So, I keep going to class and trying to discover that in-between place where there is no ego, only my body.
If you find yourself frustrated with your body and what it can’t do or aches and pains that never used to be there, I hope this helps you realize that it’s a normal part of life and that who we were in our younger years still influences us. Check in with that part of yourself and see if it still serves you well or if it is something that needs to be listened to and then told, “It’s ok, I’ll take care of you now, only differently.”
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